Battles fought, the war is not yet won. Reflections on being ill.

Please excuse the silence on this blog; but there has been a war going on at my house between the bacteria and myself. Not satisfied with my win over bronchitis, the bacteria staged a coup which resulted in my fighting two different bacterial infections at the same time. Yes, I have been sick. I have bronchitis which resulted in rib cracking coughs and the subsequent expulsion of bodily fluids. But then I got an infection under skin which is ugly and painful. If not treated, it could become life-threatening. This year Mayday, AKA Beltane, AKA the celebrations at the beginning of May to recognize the half way point between the equinox and solstice were marked by illness. Not what Bob and I had been idly chatting about doing last month. No instead I get to spend the time sitting a chair doing nothing.

When my kids were younger, they would sometimes come home in a bad mood. And I had a game “5 bad things” they hated. The rules are simple, tell me at least 5 things that were bad today. Sometimes it was 3 or 7 or whatever number felt right; but usually the kids would humor me. Got answers like “I have a headache”, “I’m tired”, “I hate my english class”, “I hate this game”. My response would be “That’s only 4, give me at least one more”. One memorable time, I got the same answer seven times in a row “Life sucks”. But the good thing about this game is that sometimes by the end game, the kid would feel better. And it was a way for me to talk with them that was not patronizing or condescending.

And since I am sick, it’s my turn to play this game
1. I hate being sick and weak
2. I hate spending PTO on doing nothing; it could have been spent on vacation.
3. I hate coughing my guts out
4. I hate having a headache and being unable to eat. But I have to eat; especially when taking medicine which seems to happen all day long
5. It drives me bonkers to sit around doing nothing and yet the only thing I have energy to do is sleep.
6. I hate having a constant headache which means I can’t read or watch TV. I can’t draw or do art. In fact, I’m not even allowed to put my infected leg down; it’s supposed to be propped up at all times.
7. And I hate the cherry and black licorice taste they give the codeine cough syrup; it always makes me gag.
8. I hate wasting time when I could be doing something fun or be learning something new.
9. I hate hurting; especially when it means I can’t walk because of the swelling.
10. I hate being sick.
11. I hate crying about things like this.

The rational side of me knows that I have to be getting better. The antibiotics are working. The leg is less swollen, the coughs not so bad, and the breathing is better. I can walk without pain most of the time. When I start complaining, that’s a sign of healing. And I know I will be going on vacation; probably with no problems from work. The cats have been loving this phase of time. All three of them compete to see who gets to sleep on me. Here’s charlie keeping me company.

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Author: Heres to ART not Cockroaches

Welcome to my life. My life as a mom is changing as the kids grow up, leave home, and build their own lives. This gives me a chance to rebuild myself as an artist, develop a spiritual path, and most fun of all, start going out on dates with my husband. Come here the stories about the small things in life that can make one very happy. Dogs running on a beach, great breakfast dates, kids and their adventures, and my own adventures in this wacky life. I'll share some of my progress in learning art while juggling a full time job as an engineer. And best of all, it's a chance for me to practice writing stories while keeping in touch with my kids. I look forward to hearing from you. Comments, thoughts, and invitations to meet for coffee are all welcomed. Enjoy the stories.

1 thought on “Battles fought, the war is not yet won. Reflections on being ill.”

  1. I’m soooo sorry for all your woes right now, but glad you are in the healing stages. I was wondering why there had been no news from you lately, just thought you were so busy being Robine that there was no time for blogging. I’m sending you all my positive energy for quick recovery.

    Got an email from Penny today from Phoenix where she is visiting her son. Her sister Nancy with whom she lives was found dead on the floor at home on Monday. What a shock to everyone. She was about my age and had not been ill. Penny will be home on Thursday.

    Please devote all your energy to healing yourself. No need to be creative at this time or learning new things, just healing. You will be in my thoughts every day. Let me know if there is anything at all that I can do for you. Love, Marianne

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