Went swimming this morning at OH Way TOO Early in the morning.  Part of my recovery process — not only do I need to do more exercise, but swimming is the perfect thing for building up strength in my knee.  It’s been almost five months since injuring my knee, a life changing event.  And since then, I’ve made fantastic progress: walking, some hiking, some yoga, swimming, bicycling, and generally living with enthusiasm and passion.  But the trust is gone.

I don’t trust my knee.  It hurts going up and down stairs.  Not bad and most of that is probably due to weaker muscles and disuse.  But even that is getting better. A couple weeks ago, I had to make myself take the next step — a very slow process.  I didn’t trust my legs and was scared of  falling or hurting myself.  Now I walk fairly normally up and down several times every day.  It’s a little bit slow and I limp a little bit; but every week shows a bit of progress.

The next thing to conquer is downward facing dog.  I’m scared to do it. It doesn’t hurt and I’ve successfully completed it a few times.  But every time takes about 5 minutes.  And most of that time is telling myself “you can do this, you can do this”.  Probably I need to do this a hundred times and then the fear will be gone.  Before the knee injury, I never even thought about it, the motion of moving from a crouched position to one with the butt in the air supported by the arm was easy and natural.  I’ve lost the trust in myself and it’s taking a long to regain it.  But just like I learned to walk again and learned to climb stairs again, this too is an obstacle that will be overcome.


Author: Heres to ART not Cockroaches

Welcome to my life. My life as a mom is changing as the kids grow up, leave home, and build their own lives. This gives me a chance to rebuild myself as an artist, develop a spiritual path, and most fun of all, start going out on dates with my husband. Come here the stories about the small things in life that can make one very happy. Dogs running on a beach, great breakfast dates, kids and their adventures, and my own adventures in this wacky life. I'll share some of my progress in learning art while juggling a full time job as an engineer. And best of all, it's a chance for me to practice writing stories while keeping in touch with my kids. I look forward to hearing from you. Comments, thoughts, and invitations to meet for coffee are all welcomed. Enjoy the stories.

One thought on “Trust”

  1. Thanks for sharing the “human” emotions of the impact your injury has had on your life. I never thought about “trusting” my body, but you are so right. You really made me think about some of my own body issues. I appreciate your honesty and this sharing was great!

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