Life’s Absurdities

Some things are just too absurd to be believed.  Bob ordered a couple new cell phones–one for him and one for Kate.  These new phones are really wonderful — 14 days of batter life,   nice screens, fancy cameras, and a keyboard for typing.  The same phone I recently got since I wanted a cell phone with a battery life longer than 2-3 hours.  So when Bob lost his cell phone, it was an excuse for him to get one also and Kate just got lucky with a moment of weakness.

Note that Bob lost his cell phone in our bedroom.  He went to bed early one night.  When I came in, I could hear the phone beeping from low battery (it was the same as mine).  But couldn’t find it.  The beeping was so obnoxious, going off for one beep every couple of minutes.  I couldn’t sleep in the room and don’t know how Bob managed to do it.  Found out later that he went to bed and fell asleep listening to that beep.  It’s now been several weeks, the phone is dead, and neither of us has been able to locate it.

But back to tonight’s story.  The phones are coming via FEDEX.  Tracfone requires a signature for delivery.  They were supposed to be delivered at 7 pm.  I got home at 6 pm (leaving work early) and had already missed the FEDEX person.  Called the phone number listed on the tag and asked if I could come pick it up on saturday.  Well it turns out the rules state that they have to try delivering it again two more times.  So even though it’s close to a 100% chance that I’ll miss them again given work and school; they have to come out to the house.  And then they will hold it for a few days, so I can go down to south carlsbad on Saturday and sign for these phones.  When I asked if we could skip the obligatory deliveries and save FEDEX the gas, the woman on the phone laughed and said no.  Rules can be absurd.

It is also possible to do some absurd things at work.  Today at lunch was a prime example.  I made some instant rice and wanted to put some canned fish (kipper snacks) on top.  The tab broke and I borrowed an implement to open the can.  BIG MISTAKE.  Got the can open and sprayed myself with fish juice.  Cleaned it up as best as possible, but my entire front was wet.  Later I’m a meeting and a co-worker stops talking, pokes his head over the cubicle wall and is trying to see who is cooking something.  EMBARRASSING, nothing was being cooked.  As my shirt dried, the smell of fish became stronger and stronger.  I had to fess up that it was me with the remnants of my lunch.  I’ll hear about this again, probably tomorrow.

On the plus side, I can now brag about my blow torch lighting abilities.  Was able to do it yesterday in class with no problems at all.  Hurrahh!!!  Learning to light the blow torch has been a source of amusement for my classmates.  I’ve failed at using a striker.  I can’t work the cheap lighters.  And since it is not very safe to use the lighters, I’ve been determined to learn how to light a blowtorch using matches from a match book.  One memorable class, I not only unsuccessfully used an entire book of matches trying to light the blow torch, but I even managed to set the newspaper on the table on fire.  So when everything started working well last night, classmates were surprised.  No more Robine Shows for them.  I can now light a match from a match book and use that match to light a blow torch.  I have acquired some new fine motor skills.  And I’m as proud as any kindergartener is about their ability to hop for 5 minutes on a single foot.  College can teach you some great things.


Author: Heres to ART not Cockroaches

Welcome to my life. My life as a mom is changing as the kids grow up, leave home, and build their own lives. This gives me a chance to rebuild myself as an artist, develop a spiritual path, and most fun of all, start going out on dates with my husband. Come here the stories about the small things in life that can make one very happy. Dogs running on a beach, great breakfast dates, kids and their adventures, and my own adventures in this wacky life. I'll share some of my progress in learning art while juggling a full time job as an engineer. And best of all, it's a chance for me to practice writing stories while keeping in touch with my kids. I look forward to hearing from you. Comments, thoughts, and invitations to meet for coffee are all welcomed. Enjoy the stories.

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